Why People Break Down and How to Be Better at Handling It
Every one of us has a breaking point, but not everyone has the same limit.
Have you ever just wanted to sit on the cold, hard floor and have a break down as your dog licks your toes?
Me too.
Having a breaking down is normal especially when we’ve been trying to be strong for far too long. It’s not something we should be ashamed of, nor is it a sign of weakness.
Believe me, everyone has a breaking point. Even the people that you think are emotionless zombies.
The reasons for people’s break downs and how to handle them:
They take everything personally
I struggle with this growing up, I was never a bad child. I was raised by a single dad, climbing trees and falling from them isn’t considered bad behavior in our household; so was having a debate with the guy, my sister and I were always heard, ‘answering back’ to our parent is normal.
When other adults reprimand me I always take it personally, to the point that I get mad and sulk all day.
Now that I’m all grown up, I learned that everyone is going through something. Sometimes what people say or do towards others are a reflection of them, not you and me.
There are some things we should just brush off.
Reacting to every misfortune
Now, I’m a very non-chalant person and quite frankly, I’m so used to misfortunes by now that I just go, ‘oh’ and then move on.
Reacting to every bad thing that happens to us, especially when we can’t do anything about it, just adds up to our stresses in life.
Think about what can you do to improve the situation, then do that instead of dwelling on the negativity.
If there’s nothing you can do about it, it’s best to let it slide.
Making every decision based on others’ advice
I’m not saying that it’s bad to ask for other people’s opinions. On the contrary, I think it’s important to have fresh eyes on a subject.
It’s just that when you make every decision based on other people’s advice, you’re basically letting them live your own life.
Then when it all goes south, we have the choice to point a finger at other people, which can stir up things in our heads; and may I just add that when you adhere to other people’s advice, it’s all on you the moment you put that to action.
Live your own life, make your own mistakes, and know that the most important decisions that you have to make should be made by you.
Resenting people who seem to live happier lives
Jealousy is part of our innate nature but as conscious humans we have the capability to focus our eyes into something or someone else rather than being fixated on things we can’t have.
If you see someone who’s happier, be happy for them as well. Resenting people because they’re happier is such a toxic trait.
Why not make ways to live a happier life as well?
Dwelling on painful memories
We all have something painful in our past but we don’t have to be a pity-party wrapped in human skin.
Being fixated on our painful memories can hinder our growth and compromise our futures.
I personally know how hard it is to have painful flashbacks once in a while but there are happy memories in there too.
If you don’t have any, it’s not too late. You’re reading this, aren’t you?
You still can make better and happier memories.
Having a long explanation for everything
This one is pretty simple, we don’t have to explain everything to everyone. Not everyone deserves an explanation — not your family members, not your ex romantic partners, not your friends.
I always get irked at people saying, ‘oh but they’re family.’ Not everyone has the same people in their lives and no one is allowed to tell you and me what we should feel about them.
Sometimes it’s a ‘yes or no’ answer, sometimes it’s even better not to have one.
Holding grudges
Carrying grudges gets heavier and heavier as time goes by. It’s a mental sickness and it’s like letting them poison you without them even trying.
The good thing about this is that we can put it down. We ultimately have the power to just kick the grudges to the curb.
I know, especially when it’s something we’ve been carrying for a long time, that it’s hard. It’s not a one-day process but it is possible.
I hope we put down our grudges, it’s tiring.
Over-analyzing everything
I’m a big advocate of thinking things through before acting on it. That’s just smart thinking, right?
But sometimes, people tend to over-analyze things to the point of driving themselves crazy, and even not pushing through with an opportunity because they scared themselves with possible outcomes that are way too unlikely to happen.
It’s okay to be smart about things but there’s also beauty and opportunity in the unknown.
Never verbalizing gratitude
No man truly is an island. Saying thank you to other people is an acknowledgement of their time and effort to do something for you — even if it’s something small.
Failing to see that we are interdependent as humans and as a society can make our baggage seem heavier than they really are.
Part of the reason why people break down is because they think they’re underappreciated for all the hard work they’ve been putting in someone or something.
We all like to feel appreciated, make sure to say thank you to someone today.
If you’ve noticed I didn’t put financial problems, loss of loved ones, or any extremely heavy topic on the list. That’s because I’m not one to talk about someone else’s experience and I wish I know how to make things better for everyone but some battles are too personal.
My personal advice is not to bottle up the anger and stress to the point of breaking down. Happy people get depressed and strong people break down. There are many ways to unload negative feelings and emotions like that — exercise, talking to someone, having a nice cup of tea, etc.
Find what works best for you.
There’s always a way out, if you think there isn’t, have someone look at your situation to have a fresh take on it. You’re always stronger than you think you are.
