Society Turned My Tomboy Personality Into Something Slutty
Being the only girl around
From the way I talk, the way I walk to my 4 year old classic converse, many people had thought twice about my sexuality — not that it’s any of their business.
We could debate about genders and sexes all day long, as some trolls on the internet do; we could argue about nature versus nurture regarding this but it wouldn’t change my ticks, my personality, my sexuality and my being — as with other people.
I was a product of a single father, the youngest in a family of three. This might make people think, ‘well, there you go! That’s why’.
I’m here to tell you that if we’re looking at this objectively, my older sister is somewhat the opposite of my personality.
Sure, we have similar principles, even similar voices but she turned out very feminine, in the typical sense — heels, make up, dresses, boys — I like contraptions, books, sneakers and drinking like a viking that just came home from a two-year war.
All my life I’ve been close to guys — cousins, in school, and the neighborhood kids. I’m also friends with a lot of women, but I have a couple of circle of friends where I’m usually the only girl around.
I had been and still am a frequent user of social media, to market my products, articles, and services but also, just like many people: to just scroll mindlessly, reading post after post with the occasional air-out-of-the-nose laugh.
There are post and memes circulating regarding girls who hang out with just boys that suggest that somewhat we have other motives with regard to hanging out with them, others suggest that boys will take advantage of the only girl in the circle.
How social media portrays a woman who likes hanging out with men
I always raise my eyebrow at memes like this one:
To be honest, I have a lot of girl friends as well, and they haven’t caused any unnecessary drama from the long time I have known them — we watch drama from afar though (which is somewhat entertaining), but never participated.
Another point: have you seen how men react when they’re playing video games and it lags?
That picture is one of many posts I’ve seen on social media regarding someone like me, a tomboy who has many guy friends and it never fails to irk me.
I have never had sex with any of my guy friends
and I have never wanted to. I can say this with all certainty: my guy friends only see me as a friend. Period. Maybe there are people who are secretly madly in love with their friend, that’s not us. We’re all disgusting, chain-smoking, nerds who play World of Warcraft.
My guy friends know how to respect people — not just women
I’ve met their families. I know them when they are drunk. I know them when they are high. I know them when they are down. Not once did they take advantage of me when we were all drinking till dawn.
When I got drunk a few years back, they tried to carry me up to the bedroom (they failed) because they didn’t want me sleeping on the couch. They always make sure I get home safe, and I, them.
It’s not the gender that makes the principles of a person. Guys who rape drunk women are rapists. Guys who don’t take advantage of drunk women shouldn’t be applauded, that’s normal or should be normal.
Same goes for women — it’s not the gender, it’s who the person is, regardless of sobriety or intoxication.
My only disclaimer here is that this is my first hand experience from hanging out with men and being the only girl around. People should always be cautious of who they’re hanging out with if they don’t know them well.
Society portrays someone with a tomboy personality with many generalizations — a bad ass, a gamer, or a slut.
There’s nothing wrong with being promiscuous if that’s what you’re into; what I don’t like is little girls growing up and being scared of hanging out with men. They would be missing out on something that is fun, and somewhat pure.
I have three younger cousins whom I see as my siblings, and I hope they choose their friends for their personalities, not genders.
